


It's Just for the Money

by Legs (InsanityRule)



Series: I came for the money I stayed for you [1]
Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Fake Marriage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 15:45:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4065556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityRule/pseuds/Legs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richard is having some concerns about money and Gilfoyle, of all people, offers an out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Just for the Money

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lies_d](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lies_d/gifts).



“It’s a baseless accusation Richard. Hooli’s lawyers know they’re grasping at straws. You shouldn’t let it worry you.”

Richard turns the evidence sheet over in his hands. Yes, they didn’t have the right permits, but that was before and now their office has models one floor below and it’s all correct and legal. The server isn’t in the garage. Erlich’s incubator is back to being a glorified post-college fraternity.

But Richard understands bias. And it takes a lot of work and money to get a jury to see the important matters. It’s already costing them a fortune.

And now he’s standing on the roof of the incubator.

Which is where Jared finds him.

“Richard? Why are you on the roof?”

“Juries like to sympathize. Maybe… maybe if they think this whole mess has made me mentally unstable- they’ll… they’ll get done faster and we’ll win and maybe I can start sleeping good again.”

“Well,” Jared corrects. “But Richard, a proper jury tends to overlook this kind of stunt.”

“Well I doubt this is a proper jury. Gavin probably paid off the jury. Or… or they probably all work for him.”

“Our lawyers already thought of that Richard. It’s expensive, but we will succeed. Please don’t jump off the roof.”

“It’s okay. I worked it out. See… this is a single story. At worst I’ll break something.”

“Yes, Gilfoyle found your calculations.” Jared starts wringing his hands together. “He told me they were ‘messed up’” he air quotes, “I’m paraphrasing, he actually cussed. But he did agree with your findings. The fall will not kill you.”

Richard takes a deep breath. “Jesus fuck. The only thing missing is a bouncy castle.”

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s…” Richard sits so his legs are hanging over the gutter. “This is really fucking stupid right?”

“It certainly isn’t an intelligent next move. Broken bones are rather expensive.”

“So what do I do?”

“One moment.” Jared pushes the ladder up against the side of the house. “Why was this down?”

“So I didn’t chicken out.”

“I see.” Jared starts climbing. “How about we discuss our next step out here?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Jared fumbles and Richard surges forward to keep him from falling. They get Jared up safely, but as he turns his foot hits the ladder and it falls. “Shit.”

“That’s no good.” Jared looks up. “It’s supposed to rain later.” He flinches and wipes his face. “I guess it’s supposed to rain now.”

“Well fuck. Someone should notice we’re both gone, right?”

“I believe so, yes.”

~

It’s downpouring. A freak rainstorm. Richard’s just glad it’s only rain and not windy.

They’re still cold and miserable and huddled together on the roof.

Someone coughs and they look down. Gilfoyle has a giant umbrella. He tosses a second one to Richard, who misses.

“How graceful of you.” He throws again.

“Fuck you.” He opens it, and it’s tiny. “Really Gilfoyle?”

“This one’s mine. Enjoying the rain?”

Jared hurries to steady the umbrella and shield them both from the rain by squeezing closer together.

“Just put the ladder back up Gilfoyle.”

“Want a solution to your money problems?”

“Gilfoyle… fucks sake…”

“Hear me out. Funding is fixed for the company, but you make way too much Richard.”

“I’m the CEO!”

“Meanwhile Jared here, dirt poor.”

“I’m actually above the poverty line because I have so few expenses.”

RIchard sneezes. “Hurry and just… just get us down.”

“Get married.”

Jared frowns. “I’m unfamiliar with Satanism, is that an insult?”

“Tax breaks Richard. You take on dirt poor Jared, he has to survive off your income, and the IRS gives you a break. Cheat the system, black hat.”

“What? Would that even be possible?”

Jared nods. “It is legal in California.”

“You’re welcome.” He starts to leave.

“Hey, hey you asshole get the ladder!”

~

Richard and Jared are in sweatpants, socks, sweaters, and wrapped up in blankets while they share the red couch.

Erlich is standing in front of Richard and it reminds him of a disapproving parent. “Are you proud of yourself Richard? We were worried sick.”

“You didn’t even know we were out there!”

Jared sneezes. It’s high pitched and tiny and not what Richard expected at all. “I’m sorry!”

“What was that? A mouse?” Erlich shakes his head. “You better not pull that shit again Richard.”

“You know… Jared was there-” Erlich leaves, “-too. What an asshole.”

“Richard.” Jared grabs his laptop and sits closer. “While you were showering I did a bit of thinking, and I think Gilfoyle’s idea has some merit. We would have to cohabitate, and that’s an added expense, but my lack of funds would offset your excess. We would essentially even each other out.” Jared raises one hand and lowers the other before moving them so they’re level to each other near his chest, “see?”

“Well… But it’s really expensive around here. At least twenty-two hundred a month.”

“Right.” Jared clicks to a new tab. “This is a single bedroom in San José. It’s at least four hundred dollars cheaper per month, compared to here in Silicon Valley, and it’s only twenty minutes away. And there are other ways we can help your taxes if we were married. For instance, the charitable donation benefits if they’re more than my income, and-”

“Okay.”

“What?”

“Okay,” Richard nods, “let’s do it.” He looks around to make sure they’re alone. “But can it just be our thing? They’ll be… they’ll be jerks if we tell them.”

“It’ll be our secret,” Jared agrees.

~

Richard can feel Erlich staring as he packs some more of his belongings.

“I don’t see why you have to move.”

“My credit score is fucked because I don’t have expenses… and-and I don’t have an app anyway, I have a company. You need space for a new person.”

“Yeah,” Erlich helps Richard tape a box shut. “But you’re coming over to party.”

Richard almost says ‘I’ll have to check with my husband’ but all that comes out is a gurgling noise. Smooth.

“Good talk… I’ll let you pack I guess. I have some app interviews anyway.”

~

The first thing Jared does in their new apartment is try to touch the ceiling.

“Fifteen feet.” He smiles. “Usually I can touch ceilings. It gets a bit claustrophobic.”

Most of the unit is pre furnished with worn but comfortable furniture. Richard carries his video game boxes up and makes the mistake of resting on the couch for a couple minutes.

When he wakes from a long nap he finds a pillow under his head, a blanket tucked around his shoulders, and his shoes are off.

He sits up and finds Jared passed out on the long chair. (Chaise lounge. It’s a chaise lounge he’s not an idiot he’s just groggy.) His neck is going to get a crick from the angle. Carefully, Richard eases Jared’s head over so it’s in proper alignment and covers him with the blanket.

And he’s not sure why he did that. To avoid thinking too hard Richard starts putting away his games and setting up his old PS2.

He’s just started up a game when he hears Jared chuff behind him. Richard gives Jared a small wave. Jared returns it before wiping his eyes.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“I know the feeling. Is everything upstairs?”

“Yes,” Jared folds up the blanket, “and the movers brought up the beds.” Richard watches him walk over to the table and grab some papers. “We should finalize our paperwork today.”

“Yeah sure.”

It takes them about an hour and then that’s that. They’re married.

~

Richard’s heard plenty of roommate horror stories. And had a few of his own. And yeah, he wears his headphones to bed now to block out the German.

But Jared is probably the most thoughtful roommate he’s ever had.

He’s very neat and tidy; he even offers to wash Richard's sheets when he does his own. (Which Richard should probably do more than four times a year.) Sometimes he cooks dinner for the both of them and when he goes to the grocery store he remembers to get the things that Richard has run out of, even if he didn’t know he was out of them.

He knows their marriage is basically a business deal but it’s been one of the best decisions he’s made recently, money and health-wise. He had no idea moving out of the incubator could help him sleep.

Okay, he had a pretty good idea that would be the case.

Alright fine he knew the nervous energy of Erlich’s tenants is a big reason he slept so poorly.

But right now it’s the middle of the night and he’s wide awake. His headphones fell off sometime during the night and a clap of thunder startled him out of a rather pleasant dream.

He really can’t get back to sleep if the lightning keeps lighting up the room. Richard groans as he gets down from his loft and steps around the California queen placed perpendicular underneath. (The only bed length able to accommodate someone as tall as Jared if he wants to stretch his legs out.) He’s nearly to the window when he hears Jared move. He shuts the blinds and Jared sniffs.

“Richard?”

He sounds absolutely pitiful and Richard feels a knot of dread form in his stomach. No one sounds that upset for no reason. And Richard is not good at comforting people.

It’s less that he can’t stand crying and more that it absolutely terrifies him. Some people are made to comfort others when they’re upset. They say the right thing and give the best hugs and make everything okay, or at least better than they were before.

Richard is not one of those people.

“I’m so sorry,” Richard can hear him sniffling, “did I wake you?”

Of course he’s more worried about Richard than himself.

“Um, no… just the storm.” He can’t make himself turn around even though he’s staring at the closed blinds. Jared will be okay, he’s good at sorting himself out. “It’s kind of unusual, having this many.”

“Yes,” it’s less a response and more a sob and his throat feels tight.

“Um… are you… crying?”

Jared hiccups and even though he knows he’ll regret it Richard turns around. He regrets it immediately. The lightning still manages to light up the room through the small cracks in the blinds and he can see Jared is an absolute wreck. His nose is running and his face is blotchy and Richard is not equipped to handle this at all.

“Traditionally,” Jared’s voice cracks and he wipes his face on his sheets, “a child’s parents teach them not to fear things irrationally. To do this they-” he hiccups again, “they do this by showing the child they aren’t afraid. When… when a child doesn't get this early on, they often manifest into phobias.”

“Storms?”

“Astraphobia. Sometimes having a light on can help-”

Richard rushes over to their bathroom and turns on the light. He leaves the door open a crack and scurries up into his bed so he can’t get a better look at Jared’s face.

“Richard-?”

“That helps right? Um… goodnight.”

Jared doesn’t say anything and Richard knows he’s an asshole.

He doesn’t fall asleep again that night.

~

The papers on his desk are blurring together.

He just needs to close his eyes, just one minute…

A loud clap of a folder wakes him with a start.

“What! No, what?”

Gilfoyle is standing in front of his desk. “Good to see my CEO so alert and productive.” He sits and props his legs on Richard’s desk. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Paradise?”

“Don’t play dumb Richard. One, I told you about marriage, and two, it’s public record. And even if they weren’t they are to me. I can’t believe you actually married that giant tool. You do know I was fucking with you right?”

“Fuck. Why?”

“You’re gullible and easy to sway, and in your vulnerable state I could’ve convinced you of anything. Be thankful.”

“Did you just want to… to mess with me or-”

“As much as I like the job security being able to remain calm around a fucked up Jared Dunn provides I would like to keep my workload from increasing exponentially when he ends up scaring away the new hires.”

“Shit that’s not good.” Richard gets up and opens his door. “Jared?”

Jared looks up and he is definitely having a rough day. The raccoon eyes are back full force and his hair is mussed.

“Can you um… presentation?”

“Smooth,” Gilfoyle monotones as he slides out of Richard’s office.

“Is there a new client? We’ll need more coders to handle the pornography.”

The nearest worker looks terrified and Richard shakes his head before ushering Jared inside.

“We have a lot of pornography Richard-”

“Jared stop.” Richard bites his lip. “Look, I’m sorry… um… you know, when you were crying. I wasn’t… I wasn’t helpful at all.”

And now he’s made Jared feel self conscious.

He really should not be allowed around upset people.

“Look… I’m no good at the whole,” He gestures to nothing, “consoling people thing. But uh… we could always talk? Next time I mean. To keep you-”

Jared’s trapped him in a hug and he panics for a second. Then he notices how nice it feels to be hugged by someone taller than him. Just as he was going to hug back Jared lets go and shuffles away awkwardly.

“I’m sorry I should not have hugged you without your permission.”

Richard nearly mentions that he’s definitely done that exact thing before.

He shrugs. “It was… kind of nice.”

“Well, could I perhaps hug you again?”

He’s being so sweet and cautious and Richard can’t say no. “Okay.” He holds his arms out.

Before Richard can really worry about the possibility Jared meant he wanted to hug some other time Jared launches himself at Richard and clings. He decides he can add hugging as the first real comforting thing he can do because if all it requires is to let Jared envelop him he thinks he can manage.

It feels like Jared is smelling him. He’s not really sure what to do about that so Richard settles on ignoring it and hugs Jared back.

When Jared lets go and steps back he looks very bashful. It’s pretty cute.

Cute? He shakes his head.

“Do you want to uh… sleep?” Richard points at his couch.

“I have some work I need to finish today.” Jared turns to face the couch. “But if I am well rested perhaps the work will be easier to complete.”

Jared unlaces his shoes and lies down facing the back of the couch. Richard doesn’t hesitate to go over to the small coat closet and get out a blanket and pillow, offer them to Jared, (Jared clings to the pillow and mutters ‘thank you’.) and return to his desk.

He catches himself watching the steady rise and fall of Jared’s back more than once.

~

“Richard?”

“Richard looks up from his desk. “Oh, um, Monica. Do we have a meeting or-?”

“No, I had to drop off some agreements and I wanted to stop by.” She sits. “Things are going pretty well for Pied Piper.”

“Yeah, yeah it’s good. We have the office. A client. Pretty good.”

“That’s really great to hear Richard. Aren’t you happy you didn’t sell to hooli?”

“It’s been ah… something.”

“At this point you guys are pretty independant. You barely need us funding you anymore.”

“Is this… are you pulling funding?”

“No, no, I just thought, maybe, we could get that drink sometime.”

“I’m married.”

And he has no idea why he decided to say that. Monica, of course, is shocked. She’s looking at him like he turned purple.

The marriage doesn’t even have anything to do with emotions it shouldn’t matter if he goes on a date.

“Wow that’s, congratulations Richard. I had no idea you were seeing anyone.”

“We’re just really private.”

Why is he lying?

“No rings? No party?”

“I mean it’s just for us that way.”

What the hell is he saying?

“I bet she’s a sweetheart.”

“Oh, you know, adorable.”

What. The. Fuck.

It’s a money marriage and they’re not actually romantically involved and Why. Can’t. He. Stop. Talking.

Since when is Jared adorable? Richard rubs his stomach.

Probably since he started giving Richard a hundred hugs a day.

“Well, I’m really happy for you. And we could still go for drinks so I can meet her.”

“Yeah okay, maybe.”

He is so screwed.

~

He’s losing his mind.

Well, not quite, but he has definitely been looking at rings online.

Something is wrong with him.

He gets about five different tabs open for rings he thinks would suit Jared before closing the entire browser and hiding under his desk.

The scary part isn’t the fact that he’s looking.

It’s that he’s done this more than once.

Ever since Monica mentioned rings he’s been looking at them on Etsy and Amazon and anywhere else kind budget friendly.

He’s even bookmarked a few.

He nearly bought one shaped like a feather.

He also found one that looks like a circut board.

He is so confused.

~

He really needs to put some stock in this global climate change thing because Silicon Valley never has bad storms.

He can already hear Jared sniffling on his bed below Richard’s. He briefly considers pretending he didn’t wake up but even considering leaving Jared to deal with this alone upsets his stomach enough to send him running to the bathroom to vomit.

“Richard are you okay?”

How is he this thoughtful? “Yeah, yeah I’m alright.”

“You haven’t thrown up in a while.”

“Just something I ate… probably. I’m alright.”

Richard leaves the light on and goes over to the window. “Does having this shut help?”

“Somewhat.” Richard pulls the blinds. “You don’t have to stay up Richard. I’m perfectly capable of handling this. I’ll be alright.”

“It’s okay.” Richard sits on the right side so Jared’s back is to the window. “It’s not even raining yet.” Jared nods. “Headphones don’t work?”

“Sometimes when I woke up with them on it felt like something was trying to eat my head.”

So that’s a bad idea.

Richard is ready to let Jared talk as long as he needs. After about ten minutes though he’s beginning to nod off. He lies down beside Jared while he talks about the Condorcam egg and seeing it move slightly. His eyes shut and he can’t really hear Jared anymore.

He thinks he can feel fingers in his hair but he’s not sure.

He sleeps uninterrupted all night.

~

There’s a soft knock, Richard mutters ‘come in’, and Jared enters.

“Richard are you busy?”

“Not really.” Always but for some reason he’ll make time for Jared.

Jared walks over and reaches out towards Richard. He takes Jared’s hand, not sure what to expect, and Jared pulls him up into a hug. He almost hugs back but Jared lets go quickly.

“I’m sorry, I should have asked for permission, but I wanted to thank you for coming to my aid last night.”

“Oh.” Richard nods. “No problem.”

“I do have one request. I’m still rather tired and last time you offered to let me take a short nap on your couch. Is that offer still available?”

“Yeah, sure. I don’t have any meeting so… go for it.”

~

It starts happening all the time.

Jared has trouble sleeping. “It’s nothing new,” he assured Richard, “just minor insomnia.”

Almost every week.

Now he goes to Richard’s office and they have a ‘meeting’ so Jared, and sometimes Richard, can take a short nap.

During tax season while Jared was sitting on his office couch Richard hit a wall. He didn’t even hesitate to lie down on the couch and use jared’s leg as a pillow. Jared started rubbing his back immediately and he fell asleep in seconds.

Jared got a bad headache and Richard rubbed his scalp for an hour to relieve some of the pain.

He forgot about his tax refund until it arrived in the mail.

~

The shift is so gradual Richard doesn’t even realize it’s happening until it’s staring him in the face.

One night they’re watching a movie and Richard is eating popcorn. He’s sitting on the couch and Jared is on the chaise. Jared keeps looking at the bowl longingly so Richard gets up and sits between Jared’s outstretched legs with the popcorn on his lap.

Jared wraps his arms around Richard’s waist and leans them back in the lounge. When he’s not eating the popcorn Richard gives him Richard can hear tiny content hums against his scalp.

“Jared?”

“Hm?”

Richard twists around, places a hand on Jared’s cheek, and kisses him.

And he knocked the popcorn off his lap and they break apart quickly to clean up because THEY WILL NOT HAVE ANTS.

When they’re done Richard’s worried it was a fluke but Jared sidles up shily until they’re standing a few inches apart. He’s blushing and smiling and Richard needs to rethink his stance on arranged marriages because he would not have figured this out on his own.

Jared is above him on his bed. (Their bed. He can call it their bed now.) And Richard can’t think of any place he’d rather be more.

~

They’re discussing the budget, Jared’s hand comfortably resting on his shoulder, when there’s a short series of knocks. Jared straightens before Richard calls them in.

It’s Dinesh, holding a piece of paper. “Richard, what is this memo?”

“What one?”

He genuinely does not remember the memo until he sees the subject Relationship Disclosure and Employee Rights at the top.

“Oooh…”

“Oh, I can explain. Dinesh, this is a reminder to the staff about their rights regarding relationships, because one has been reported to HR. Now, in the nature of privacy we are not going to be revealing the relationship to the company, but we wanted to remind them that if they are ever uncomfortable because of a relationship in the company they have every right to come to me and file a complaint. We want everyone to be comfortable here.”

“Who is it?”

“Well, with the privacy clause-” Gilfoyle shoves his way in past Dinesh and shakes Richard’s hand.

“Didn't think you had it in you Richard. And here I thought it was a loveless marriage.” Gilfoyle nods to Jared, but doesn't shake his hand.

“Wh- what? Those two?” Dinesh drops the memo. “How long has this been going on?”

“Um… I don’t know…” Richard looks up, thoughtful.

Jared is counting on his fingers, twitching them as he mouths numbers. “Oh, I think it’s our anniversary?”

“Oh that’s cool.”

“Go to the public records. The date’s on there.” Gilfoyle clicks a few times and types a search. “Yep. Congrats.”

“What the fuck. Gilfoyle knew?”

“It’s sad being the last to know.” Gilfoyle pats Dinesh on the back as he leaves.

“You two. Are married.”

“For a year apparently.”

“Perhaps we could go out to dinner? Or maybe I could make something.”

Dinesh shakes his head and mutters obscenities as he leaves.

**Author's Note:**

> How did this get so long.


End file.
